I am about halfway done with the book, Designing Your Life. This book is written by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, two Stanford Professors who give people of any age, ideas on how to figure out what they want to do when they grow up. In my opinion, this is a very good book…well, I am actually listening to as an audiobook (because I stay busy like that).    Anyway, while listening there is one recurring point that has taken root in my head and it is resonating with me right now. 

“What am I doing?”  “Where do I start?” “Where am I going?” “How do I begin?” In order to answer any of those conceptual questions, you have to understand where you are right at this moment. The answer to that question is, “You are here.”  Where you are right now is not born from where you’ve been and it has little bearing on where you think you want to go.  You could be in your first year of military service, the trepidatious 10-12 year mark of your career, in your 18th year, days before you final out appointment before retiring or separating, or you could be 3 years past your retirement ceremony.  The idea of transitioning out of the military is fluid and you shouldn’t feel guilty about thinking about it, planning it, and plotting your exit in the same fluid stream of consciousness.  You only need to know where you are now, so you know how to get where you are going. 

Many of my friends, associates, colleagues, bosses, and subordinates are at the crossroads of their military career and their next phase in life.  I am at that same intersection, I just know which direction I am heading. Out! I don’t say that with any negativity in my heart. I have enjoyed the past 23 years (25 by the time I retire), but I know it is time to move on and explore a different me. I want to take you on this journey with me. 

So many questions come up during this contemplation period of transition.  I want to hit each and every subject that crosses my mind, desk, and email and share those questions and answers with you as you go through your own contemplation about transitioning out of the military.  I don’t want you to miss a beat!

Locate Yourself on the Map

You are here; it is the sign that is on a map at the mall, in your apartment complex, behind your hotel door to orient you if you need to escape a fire. You look for the map and the section, usually in red that states, “You Are Here.”  When I think about leaving the military, I get butterflies in my stomach full of excitement. But, as I see the light at the end of the tunnel, I may start to feel like the building is on fire.  I am a planner; I have been planning my retirement for years.  Not because I was disenchanted with the military, but because I knew it was coming.  Leaving the military is like death and taxes…as long as you live through it, you will have to eventually get out of the military.  I didn’t want it to blindside me.  I didn’t want to be ill-prepared.  I didn’t want to miss out on important benefits.  I didn’t want to miss out on doing something 4 years out from retiring that I didn’t find out about it until I was 2 years out from retiring.  I didn’t want someone else to know about something or take advantage of a random benefit that I missed out because I didn’t pay attention and practice self-care. 

You are here. I am here.  Where ever you start this journey, right now you are here. 

Begin With the End in Mind

Begin with the end in mind.  I need to look up who said that because it is a poignant quote.  When I joined the Air Force 23 years ago, I had absolutely no intention of staying in longer than my 6-year commitment.  Hell, I initially wanted to join for only 2 years, but the Army was the only Service doing such a short commitment and I did NOT want to be in the infantry.  Once I arrived at MEPS, I was about to check the block to enlist for 4 years, but they tempted me with a linguist job, a school in beautiful Monterey, CA, and a $4000 enlistment bonus.  At the ripe age of 17, that sounded like a good gig.  What they failed to tell me was, that $4000 would take 4 years to receive and it would be taxed at 28%.  Anyhoo…I digress.  My point is, I never planned to stay in.  I wanted to stay long enough to earn the use of the GI Bill and then get out and go to college full-time.  At my “You Are Here” point in 1997, I was graduating high school at 16 and knew I didn’t have enough scholarships and any additional money to pay for college.  My sister who was 1 year older than me, had been at University for over a year and was already racking up school loans and credit card debt.  I said to myself that will not be me.

About 4 years into my enlistment, I didn’t care for my career field, I had bigger aspirations for myself, and knew I needed to find a way out.  My You Are Here point then, was to become an officer or get out.  Getting out at that point made me very nervous because I still didn’t know who I wanted to be when I grew up. I was also afraid that going to college without having it all figured out would cause me to waste time and come out on the other end no better off mentally, but with a college degree in a field, I may not love.

After my two attempts, I was accepted in a commissioning program that paid for me to go to school full-time, earning the [approved] degree of my choice.  Jackpot!!  There was one problem with this master plan…I still didn’t know what I wanted to do when I grew up.  I did know the Air Force had a list of approved degrees that I had to choose from in order to be in the program.   I chose Computer Science.  I knew it sounded good to the board, I was really smart, and I kinda liked the idea of programming.

By the time I was in my sitting in my Calculus II class knowing that if, and that was a big “IF” I passed the class, Calculus III was on the horizon and that thought made me sick to my stomach.  It was at that point that I accepted the notion that Computer Science wasn’t for me. After many disagreements with my then very old, crotchety, and likely senile ROTC Colonel commander and then just switching ROTC detachments to move near my future husband, I changed majors.

Once I finished my degree, 4 years later I returned to the active duty Air Force commissioned as a Second Lieutenant. I knew then, that I would stay long enough to retire.  I had too much skin in the game.  The past 11 years have been a flurry of up and down emotions, anxiety, and uncertainty.  I have had several jobs within my primary AFSC (job category) and then I had the amazing opportunity to take part in a Graduate degree fellowship.  I was back in school again, for another 3 years, and it would alter the finale of my career. 

Now

Now my You Are Here is digging into yet another and newer career field in the Air Force–working an International program. I continue to fill my toolbelt with the necessary equipment to make me marketable in retirement.  I still don’t have the best answer for “Who do I want to be when I grow up.”  I also don’t want to be unnecessarily tied to my military career in retirement.  I may use my military experience as a jumping-off point for my civilian career and in finding my passion, but I refuse to be tied to the image of who I am/was in the military and take that image with me into the next phase of my life.

Reflections

About 2-3 years ago, I attended a resume writing workshop that was hosted by the Army Community Service’s office at the base I was going to school.  I hadn’t ever written a real resume for myself and I wanted to get some perspective.  There were two gentlemen in the class that left a lasting mark on me.  They were both retiring within months and they were planning to immediately leave their military career and transition directly into a federal civilian job, much like the job that had been doing before they retired.  When asked directly why they hadn’t thought about doing anything else, their answers were that they didn’t know.  They said that their respective career fields were all they knew how to do. So they planned to continue to do it.  The words passion, desire, or enjoyment never left their mouth.  I said to myself at that moment, that will not be me!

I want to be the best version of myself.  I want to be happy.  I want to bring joy to those around me, especially my close family and friends.  I want to do something I look forward to in the morning, it leaves me energized throughout the day, and satisfied at the end of the day.  Most importantly to you, as my reader, I want to take you on that journey with me.