The decision to separate or retire from the military is usually a difficult one.  That decision is compounded by the stress of having to tell those in your chain of command your plans.  But their knowledge of your plans is inevitable, yet you should not tell your Commander of your plans to separate any more than one year out from your planned date of separation. 

I know that seems like a lot of advance knowledge but if you are sure, and being sure is an important component in this recommendation, you will need that full year to take advantage of all opportunities offered to you before you separate or retire.  As much as I have enjoyed and appreciated the 24 years I have spent in the Air Force, I have to be honest, individuals in the chain of command sometimes take your decision to transition out of the military as a personal attack on them. The life decision to leave the military, a decision hopefully not made in haste, is a very personal decision that affects the individual and their family.  Your supervisor, commander, and wingman/battle buddy/devil-dog/shipmate should have very little to do with it.

 The reason you shouldn’t tell your chain of command more than a year out is that life happens.  You may change your mind, but your boss may hold it against you.  You can always make your plans to transition out of the military at least 24 months in advance, but involving your boss may create a not-so-ideal) working environment.   Bottom Line: Unless your supervisor or commander is a trusted mentor or friend, you may want to consider keeping your long-term plans to yourself.

With that said, there are usually 3 standard reactions to your announcement of your planned transition: sincere acceptance, denial, or sabotage.

Sincere Acceptance 

Sincere acceptance is the optimal reply to your decision to separate or retire and it is the reaction you hope for.  Your notification to your supervisor or commander should be transmitted in the form of an email and short sit down no less than 6 months out.  Keep in mind, you are authorized to and highly encouraged to attend a Transition Assistance Program (TAP) class up to 24 months out from your date of separation (DOS).   

Knowingly or unknowingly, the transparent decision to leave the military will almost certainly nullify your future growth opportunities within your organization.  Your chain of command no longer has a need to put you in high visibility positions that will improve your chances for growth, promotion, and stellar performance reports.  They can, however, put you in positions that will challenge your sanity, positions no one else wants, or just stick you in a corner somewhere.  The latter may not be the worst thing in the world since there will be a plethora of self-reflection and post-transition planning to be done.  In those cases, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

 When I was an enlisted linguist, there was always the carrot dangled in front of us like it was a shiny golden egg.  This carrot was in the form of an extended language class.  They used it as a motivational tool so we wouldn’t become complacent.  Not for what it was mean,t for which was a way for us to maintain our language fluency. 

Who wouldn’t have wanted to opportunity to go back to Monterey, CA,  or go to PLTCE in Germany, or Washington D.C. for a few months?  If I know two years out that I plan to separate, but I also know I need to maintain my language skills and use them when I separate, keeping the decision to transition out of the military to myself and remaining in the running for one of those advance class slots would be a good idea.  You never want to burn a bridge with deception, but you also don’t need to unnecessarily include individuals in your personal future decisions.  It’s called a personal decision for a reason. 

As an officer, I would always parrot, “I want to be the next Chief of Staff of the Air Force,” when asked what my career goals were.  From the time I was a Second Lieutenant until the day I submitted my request for retirement.  I never once meant it, but I knew it was what my leadership wanted to hear and it, along with stellar performance, would always keep me in the running for unique opportunities.

Denial

The first of two potentially negative responses from your chain of command.  As an enlisted member in the military, you are committed only by an enlistment contract.  Once you have fulfilled your enlistment term AND completed any active duty service commitments you have incurred you are free to go.  You are generally notified, several months out from the end of your enlistment that you must either re-enlist or make your preparations to separate.  Once that window has passed it becomes common knowledge to your chain of command of your intentions to either stay or get out.  Your chain of command can definitely try to coerce, massage, or influence your  decision, but the decision is ultimately yours.  However, if you are an officer in the military, you have to request to resign your commission.

It sounds simple enough, apply through your personnel office and wait for your commander to approve your request. But, I have personally seen cases where a commander decides not approve a request to separate.  Those cases are few and far between, but they can and do occur.  Back in the day when you had to submit a letter to your commander to ask to resign your commission, it was a different story.  Now, outside of a national emergency, a stop-loss activiation, or other extenuating circumstances, most requests to resign are granted.

Sabotage

The absolute worst commander reaction of the three.  This is actually worse than an outright denial.  This is when being sure you are sure is so very important.  As eluded to at the beginning of this blog, once your chain of command knows you intend to transition out of the military, their investment in you can shift or come to an abrupt halt. 

They sometimes lose the desire to put you in front of the higher commanders, give you opportunities for advancement or put you in for quarterly or annual awards.  Because those that will be left behind will benefit from those opportunities more than you.  In small ways, those shifts are understandable.  Awards and opportunities of the like should go to the best candidate hands down, but they were created as a means of peer differentiation and ultimately to be used as fodder for future opportunities.  OPR, EPRs, and your service components annual evaluations all rely on awards to decide who’s the best of the best.

No, you shouldn’t be punished for your decision to transition out of the military, but the end of a relationship is like a bandaid that needs to be pulled off swiftly.

You could also be sabotaged in the form of your pursuit of a civilian job at your same office or within your same unit.  I’ve known leadership and commander’s to bend over backwards to ensure one of their buddies get’s the opening GS-12, GS-13, and definitely GS-14 position.  I’ve even seen them break their necks to create a position for “said buddy”.  But, I have also seen the opposite, where a perfect candidate, e.g. the person who was working that exact job, at that exact desk, applies for the safe civilian opening that is the counterpart for that job and is blackballed through the process.  

Wrap Up

No matter the reaction, at least now you know what to potentially expect and the best way to avoid upsetting the apple cart–keep your plans to yourself until it is necessary that it becomes public information.  However, and I can’t stress this enough, don’t’ miss out on opportunities like the week-long TAP class because you are trepidatious to tell your chain of command you are thinking about or definitely plan to get out.  A decision like that will only hurt you!